Last week’s visit to Respite program went quite well. J was very relaxed and cheerful when I came to pick her up – chatting with the other folks who were standing around getting coats and meeting drivers. Several times that evening she mentioned it, how nice it was, or asked me what it was she had done that day, then commented that it was nice.
I didn’t write about it because I now realize that there is no correlation at all between how much she likes something one time and whether she will like it again. The memory doesn’t allow much carryover. I didn’t talk much about it all week, but did respond pleasantly if she brought up the Respite experience. If I had written about it then, everybody would have been so relieved that it went well, and ready to see her enjoy it regularly, and congratulating me on this excellent thing. Well.
Alas. This morning she was having the abdominal pains that she has, off and on, that are related to adhesions from multiple surgeries in that area. She has medicine for it, but the pains come and go without a whole lot of reason. (It’s been fully checked out medically, multiple times). When it came time to leave, she said she felt too badly. I encouraged her to go over with me and see how it felt, just to be there, but she strongly declined. This approach worked well last week, but was not going to work this week.
So, after a few more respectful tries, I called the program to say she wouldn’t be in today. Maybe Friday….
I did tell her that I had planned to work upstairs in my office while she was away, doing the year-end filing and organizing, and so I would probably still do that. (I was loathe to “reward” staying out of the Respite program with my increased attention!) Also, I wanted to get this blog post written. And here I am, writing it, as J rests on the couch downstairs. She can holler up if she needs anything, and I’ll go down in an hour or so and check anyway.